Trudie M. Eklund
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This is a work of fiction. All characters and events portrayed in this book are fictional, and any resemblance to real people or incidents is purely coincidental.
It is said that hopes and dreams drive the human spirit whereas despair and pain scar the soul. Today most agree that the events of even our earliest childhood years reverberate into our adult lives but who amongst us can remember the very first moment we hoped and dreamed, the first time we fell into confusion or anxiety? This book gives a vivid picture of years of child abuse and domestic violence by two Irish Catholic immigrant parents with deep mental problems trapped in a loveless marriage but bound by their culture and religion to present to the outside world the picture of a perfect church-going family. Did these two immigrants leave home and hearth with a pocketful of dreams or did they exit the poverty-ridden isolated farms and villages of Ireland to escape the demons chasing them? Why do they remain mired in old beliefs and customs with one foot in the land of opportunity and the other foot across the sea? How do these old beliefs and customs effect their lives and their children's lives? If love, trust and support is the cohesion that holds a family together, what happens to this family beset with anger, personal antagonisms and bitterness?
The 1930 depression years were a time of struggle for most Americans but even more so for the McCulloughs. In response to their anger, frustration and mental problems Frank and Josephine heap verbal and physical abuse on their first daughter, Gertrude, who longs for hugs but instead is beaten, degraded and cast aside. In her confusion she tries to cope with the violence and rationalizes that everyone must live like they do--fathers beat mothers and mothers beat children. But there is humor also as the author describes her daily life in Catholic schools and at the confusion of meeting relatives tucked away only to be encountered at funerals or other Catholic rituals. We see deep feelings of anti-Semitism as well as prejudice against non-Catholics rearing its ugly head and influencing every segment of this family's life. Moving from neighborhood to neighborhood Gertrude if forced to adjust to new schools and new events, both good and bad.
The war years of the 1940's give a clear picture of life on the homefront as Frank and Josephine cope with the scarcities and rationing. Housing shortages in Philadelphia lead the McCulloughs to taking in a boarder whose life becomes intertwined with theirs and we see firsthand the results of the Normandy invasion casualties. With women rushing to work in defense plants and having more money than time, Josephine grabs the opportunity to open her own business. In an ironic twist of fate she becomes successful sewing for Jewish women, the very people she despises. With her new found independence she no longer endures Frank's abuse and he now concentrates all his anger on Gertrude. Relive a child's view of the war, the confusing hopes of Frank and Josephine that Hitler will win and the strange twist of patriotism that dubs Gertrude along with her father a Nazi. How does Gertrude feel at the death of President Roosevelt and the memorable victory celebrations at the end of the war?
While Gertrude is growing up, she is also attempting to deal with Josephine's mental problems. The level of abuse moves ahead at breakneck speed when Gertrude finds new interests. Laugh along with the antics of the nuns in Catholic higher education as Gertrude graduates and enthusiastically takes on the business world. On her first payday she comes face to face with her parent's unbending belief that whatever life's rewards, financial or otherwise, her first duty is to them. Uncomfortable with that premise and struggling with the conventional wisdom of the day that the ultimate road to happiness is to become a housewife, we travel with Gertrude in her search for love and affection. She gives her heart to a young college man and for an all too brief time feels that all is right with the world. That world falls apart when he toys with the idea of becoming a Catholic priest.
Peace time is all too brief and in June 1950 the world is thrown into the Korean War. Lonely, unhappy and seeking a better life, Gertrude joins the USO and falls head over heels in love with Jamie Curry, a young airman recently back from a tour of duty in Germany. Here is someone whom she feels will at last fill her needs. As the violence at home reaches a new height she is more determined than ever to escape her dysfunctional family. Seeped in idealism she is confident of a happy future, unaware that her new husband is viewing the situation vastly differently. The door to her family closes when on her wedding day, instead of a hug, the last words her mother utters are "dinna eve' com' back."
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