Ultimate Blonde

by J.D. Mitchell

Copyright ©2004
ISBN: 0-87714-857-0 eBook edition
ISBN: 0-87714-317-X PB edition

This is a work of fiction. All characters and events portrayed in this book are fictional, and any resemblance to real people or incidents is purely coincidental.

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to the Actor Robert De Niro

SPECIAL THANKS

Sue Carol Nussbaum in collaborating her efforts in capturing my ideas and thoughts in my stories, and to Lennie Fournier for his collaboration for starting the book.
To my mentor, who happens to be my husband? Who inspired me to go after my dreams?

THE AUTHOR

JD Mitchell and her husband are happily married and live in Palmdale California. They both have a love for animals and live with seven cats, two dogs and two birds.

One important thing JD Mitchell learned in life was to never marry anyone that's crazier then you. JD tries to look at life with sense humor; you have to these days in order to keep your sanity. If you can't laugh yourself first, then the whole world is an annoying pit hole, wouldn't you agree?

JD was born July 14TH 1963, at Bellevue Hospital in New York City. Bellevue Hospital was later known for being a fantastic mental hospital. When JD this she felt it explained a lot of things about why she sees the world so differently.

Seriously, JD's background in writing was something she had picked up from her late father, who had great way in remembering details. Most of JD's life, in the beginning was a gifted artist with no formal training. JD did attend Platt College in 1987, for a degree in graphic arts. Later on she was a portrait artist for Disneyland, the theme park in Anaheim California.

JD struggles with the problem of having dyslexia, and having thirteen life threatening surgeries in the last thirty years. Yet she believes that if you really believe in yourself, you can over come anything. JD is only sorry that her father isn't still alive to enjoy life with her. But she believes he still is, only in different way.

THE BOOK

Disclaimer:

This book is a work of fiction, names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, business establishments, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Synopsis Humor Disclaimer:

Here's another way to look at this, if you're interested and have no idea what a disclaimer really is. This is the way I look at it. My space ship just landed and I'm merely observing life forms, not taking anything with me on board. That's because the city zoo on our planet is full right now and we don't need any extra mouths to feed. For what reason, you may ask? Space travel can be longer than imagined so just for common curiosity we'd like to find out how annoying you really are? You might be one of these non-stop talkers, where the conversation involves no periods in any of your sentences. If you were anything like that, you would probably make our spaceship get lost. Because you're talking could distract us so much, we'd be in danger of the sudden realization that we didn't know where in the hell we were going? Surely you can see that many hours in space with an annoying specimen could cause us to crash! Of course, your government would somehow use a crash to cover up having no knowledge of any real truth that is "out there somewhere" Now, that's a disclaimer!

Introduction:

I love California! It has a lot to offer. It's an attractive place for people who want to make a move and change their lives-people who are willing to work hard, and who believe in the dream of a better life. In the process of building better lives for themselves, these same people have helped to build a great place to live.

On the other hand, California gets bashed a lot for being "nutty" or "fruity". This is, after all, "La-La Land"- America's entertainment capital. Of course it's a haven for looks-obsessed and otherwise-neurotic personalities, and a magnet for the star-struck and star wannabe's. California's also a major showcase for these types; our locations and residents are seen on movie screens and television sets all over the world. There's nothing much that goes on here that the rest of the world doesn't know about!

If you think you're good-looking, but you're dysfunctional, living in California will work for you. On the other hand, if you think you're NOT good looking, but you're dysfunctional; it can still work for you. I like to think of California as being a made-to-order "Sunshine Sanatorium"-and I'm not just talking about the state's predominantly sunny blue skies! I'm talking about the fact that anyone can fit in here, no matter how unusual they are.

And that's what I love most about California-I fit right in here! Anywhere else in the world, people would probably wonder what planet I'm from, let alone what state, but if I were to tell them I lived in California, they'd just nod their heads in a way that said, "Oh-that explains it!"

The following stories are slices of my life here in California. Actually, they're more like what the movie industry calls "outtakes". If I were an actress, I'd definitely audition for every part that calls for a dumb blonde-regardless of the fact that I'm a natural redhead. (People here change their hair color like underwear, anyway!) I'd probably have more work than I could handle, because I am…

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